Digging out the origins of my fears were inconsequential next to creating experiences for myself that countered them.
For so long in my life I held my voice in. I shyed away from controversy from dialogue of any kind actually around what I believed in and what I had to say. I did it for so long that I began to feel disconnected from what I had inside of me to begin with. Conformity was becoming my personality. So what did I do? I acted out, subconsciously, on myself. A raging eating disorder became the last straw that threatened to bury who I was at the core for good. And then…light, then love, then yoga.
So maybe it wasn’t that easy. In fact it was years of hard ass work…and the work continues. But my time on my mat, my blog, my community, my relationships, these are the connectors that keep that work going, and my inner voice slowly but surely digging it’s way out. Most of the time i’m hovering above the silt layer at the top of that grave, but it’s so much better than 67 feet under…
Illumination by Katarina Silva